Do not repress what you want to express
People often experience such feelings in their hearts that they are unable to express, even if they wish to. Their inner voice longs to express something different, but their egos prevent them from acting as they would. One should certainly learn to express themselves.
In expressing one’s rightful desires, one should certainly not hesitate. A rightful desire, if not expressed, will always put burden on one’s mind, resulting in confused state of mind.
Unlike a clear-headed person, a confused person’s decision is not appropriate. His spirit continuously reminds him that he should be doing something else, which he has yet to do. As a result, his decision is always tinged with regret.
Manoj was a Chartered Accountant. He set up his office in Connaught Place, one of Delhi’s busiest areas, where ten to twelve persons were working under him. He made a decent living.
The journey to build a name for himself in a city like Delhi was not easy for someone from a small village. He had to put in a lot of effort to reach this point.
A decade or two ago, he traveled by bus. He preferred to walk instead of taking a auto to save money. He continued to work despite his fever. It is said that hard work pays off. He had it, too.
A pen costing fifty rupees ten years ago was unthinkable. Today, the pen he owns costs ten thousand rupees. He has overcome numerous challenges throughout his career, but has never given up.
Manoj was very fond of that pricey pen. It was one of the most valuable possessions he ever possessed. He thought that this pen was a lot more than just a pen.
In addition to being a status symbol, it was also important to him. As beautiful as the pen was, its significance was equally apparent. By placing that pen in his shirt, he may bully other individuals.
The pen reminds him again and again that he is different from everyone else. It boosts his self-esteem and treats him with respect.
His journey from the bottom to the top would be chronicled with this pen. In addition, it would make people aware of Manoj’s status. It was this pen that would record the story of his struggle and triumph.
As Manoj worked on his files one day, his gaze was drawn to the pocket of his shirt. He was taken aback. That pen was nowhere to be seen in his shirt pocket.
He couldn’t figure out where that pen had gone. After all, he couldn’t afford to buy such an expensive pen every time he needed one. It was out of sight, wherever that pen had gone.
His frustration towards office employees, clerks, and others was frequently expressed. Where did he get his attention? Sometimes the car driver, sometimes the house servant, and sometimes the washer man have been the victims of his suspicious eye..
There was no telling where his doubt’s needle had gone, and he seemed to not care where it went. The more worried he became, the more concerned his employees became. These people were equally disturbed.
In the seven months since the tragedy, his heart had slowed down as well. Yes, he had to learn that one should not keep items that are more valuable than one’s ability to handle. Because of this, he now works with a simple pen.
In the course of his work, his clerk discovered the pen from one of the files and handed it over to Manoj while he was typically preoccupied with those papers.
Despite the option for hiding the pen, the clerk did not. Manoj was shocked to find the pen, and he found it in exactly the same way he lost it.
Despite getting the pen, he slept in a disturbed state. He became suspicious of the clerk and his office employees without proof. He scolded them all without justification.
How the employees working under him fell victim to his unfounded suspicion and how the clerk found the pen and returned it without complaining.
In spite of his unprovoked annoyance, his clerk’s honesty was overshadowed. He wanted to apologize, but when it came to his tongue, how it was reworded as a thank you, he himself could not explain.
He tried many times to say sorry to everyone but couldn’t. The pen was found, but the burden on his soul increased. The pain in his heart was gone, but what about the pain in his soul?
In every situation, if your conscience urges you to speak out, you should. You may be able to silence the voice of your soul, but you can never escape it.
You may be able to hide your mistakes from the world, but what about your own? The rest of the world may think you’re innocent, but what about the stains in your own soul?
In order to live up to one’s own expectations, one must always listen to one’s innermost self. However, if one has lived up to his own expectations, he will not be defeated, even if he loses everything.
It has been said that the right thing should be said at the right time as no one knows if the right time will occur again or not? If not, what else could be left in his innermost being besides remorse, as was in the case of Manoj.